Newsletter #4: we're cancelling your (guilt) trip
Writer's guilt and what you can do to kick it to the curb.
In this edition, we’re doing things a little differently!
I’m writing this newsletter at the end of arguably the most hectic January of my adult life.
Stressed out, busier than ever, and finding myself in the middle of an unexpected house move, the things I had planned for the first page of 2022 are well and truly out of whack. Cue, writer’s guilt.
That’s our topic for this month: writer’s guilt and how to handle it.
What is writer’s guilt?
Humans feel guilt when we’ve failed to live up to expectations, or have wronged someone in some way.
Sometimes in life, it’s justified. But writers do have a habit of giving themselves a tough time when the world conspires against their carefully planned writing schedule.
It’s that strange unease that comes with knowing you’re behind the schedule you set yourself, or not hitting that daily word count, or watching Netflix with a glass of wine instead of reading that book on writing techniques you picked up two months ago.
But here’s the thing: the time and energy you spend feeling bad about what you haven’t done is a waste. It could instead be spent on writing right now, or learning more about your craft.
Should I feel bad?
The short answer is no. Not just from the self-care angle, where you need to be kind to yourself, but from a very practical one.
Being anxious and panicked about the (usually unrealistic) expectations you’ve set yourself as a writer is hardly conducive to getting the creative juices going. Sitting, clenched at your desk, stressed about the fact you haven’t hit today’s goal isn’t going to get you any closer to it.
Go do some yoga or take your dog for a walk instead. Read a few pages of that new book. Literally anything else will help you take a detour from that guilt trip.
How to handle writer’s guilt
Cut yourself some slack. It might sound easy, but if it were, you wouldn’t be sitting there in the vice grip of guilt. Here’s how you can do that:
Rather than completely letting go of the expectations you’ve set yourself, sit down and rethink them so that they’re achievable, and inspire you to move forward rather than stress you out and set you back.
Take one small, positive step each day. It could be anything, from writing 100 words to lying in a hammock thinking about your characters. This is called kaizen, and you can read more about it here.
The words you say to yourself matter. Whenever you find that you’re kicking yourself for not writing, or not writing to the standard you had in mind, ask: “would I be this harsh on a friend?” The answer is usually no, so be your own friend first and be kind.