Ouch. That hurt.😬

Coming back from the Lakes gave me whiplash?

Every once in a while I’ll feel so under the weather that I turn a little contemplative, bordering on the morose. On this occasion, I found myself immobilised by a pinched nerve on my left side. Quite a crucial side. My favourite, in fact, as a left-handed person.

As I forced myself to lie on my back and ‘relax’ for a few hours (spoiler: it was not relaxing) I slipped gently into one of my mini-existential crises. These moments, which I can only describe as slipping and falling into a huge icy crevasse of panic, second-guessing, and uncertainty, cover key topics like:

• What do I really want to do?

• Why haven’t I done it?

• I can do it. I should do it! But it costs too much money.

• Maybe I’m feeling sad because I should be doing X instead of Y. But Y won’t pay the bills. But if I do X forever, I will never be truly happy. And what is the point of life if it’s not to be happy?! Am I doing ‘life’ wrong?

• I need to book the chimney sweeper.

• Maybe I should do a PhD and follow that old dream to be a lecturer. Definitely. Makes total sense.

• Is that a bruise or am I dying?!

And so on and so forth. One vanilla oat milk latte and an hour-long deep tissue massage later, I had some pep back in my step and hit pause on those thrilling plans to change the entire trajectory of my life.

That’s something I do, by the way, when I’m down for the count (or think I am). Bit of a bad week? Bored? Sinus infection dragging on a bit? Ah. I guess it’s time to *checks notes* pack up my entire life and move to Japan to teach English for an indeterminate amount of time, with precious-little-to-no knowledge of the Japanese language.

This is a real idea I had and very nearly carried out before deciding to instead move to arguably the darkest, rainiest part of the UK (call me Bella Swan, hoa hoa hoa). Honestly, the PhD idea is one of my less imaginative plans. That was my original career plan when I first moved, but that’s another story for another day.

Now, you might be reading this and, rolling your eyes, say: get over it. Lots of people out there have it worse. And you’re right. The thing is it had been a while since something physical knocked me that hard for this long. Given my awful posture, I’ve dealt with aches and pains before—I usually push through. This one was different, deeper. I was immobilized physically first, and psychologically second.

I jokingly said that going from a gorgeous weekend in the Lakes with the girls celebrating the very excellent

Nina Mackie

’s birthday, to the grey skies and responsibilities awaiting me back home in Sunderland, must have given my whiplash. But maybe there’s an element of truth to that comical exaggeration.

Absolute scenes.

Being away from home gives you the chance to gain perspective on things that have become mundane, familiar. You know what, maybe I have been neglecting things that I’m passionate about. Maybe I haven’t been listening to my intuition and my body when it comes to my work, fitness, and life in general. Maybe I do need to kick my butt into gear and spend more time on things that really matter to me. Maybe I need to cut out the things that don’t serve me anymore. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Today (writing from a window seat at a cat-themed cafe) is the first day this week that I felt a little more like myself. Even then, it’s ‘myself’ but feeling my way through a dense fog. Is it the same as brain fog? I don’t know. I’m just glad it’s slowly, slowly lifting.

A tale of two lattes.

And perhaps most importantly, I’m going to take the few days spent in that fog and take something of value from them—a reminder to DO THE THING.

---

Do you get a little introspective when you’re under the weather? What’s ‘the thing’ you should be doing? What do you want to spend more time and energy on? Share in the comments!