☕️ Sunday (not-so) scaries - May 19
Let's have a little catch up...
Well, it’s been a hot minute! I feel like I want to sit down with a lovely oat milk latte and catch up with my Substack pals. So that’s what we’re doing today. Let’s get into it.
Where have you been?
If you’ve been here before (particularly if you follow me on Insta), you’ll know I’d been struggling with my job for a while. It took me some time to realize I wasn't just “feeling sad” or “a bit frustrated” at work—it had gently nudged my once-enthusiastic self into a dank depression hole. My face even started to look a little greyer in the mirror. Not good.
With some help (and the amazing support of friends and my partner), I realized that work was the reason behind my low moods, weight gain, increase in alcohol consumption, and ridiculous drop in motivation across my work and personal lives. It was also starting to impact my relationships.
I would wake up on a workday with a tight chest and rapid heart rate because my god, I had to face another day of it with no end in sight. I was struggling to get myself up and out of bed, which isn’t typical. If that sounds like you, this is your sign to update that CV and start looking, because it’s not okay.
What happened?
I’d tried speaking up about the real problems causing those symptoms. I spoke (and cried) to my line manager and HR, but it fell on ears that seemed determined not to hear me.
This is where I learned that HR is not actually there to support employees—they're there to protect the company’s interests. The designated HR guy for my department did little more than brush me off, though I’m not surprised considering he’s openly mentioned regularly working until 9 pm and some weekends too. Not sure a career in HR is for him if I’m being honest.
Simple accommodations could have helped me, but it became clear that their commitment to ‘supporting our employees’ mental well-being’ was all talk, no action. Emotionally, I was somewhere between pissed off and disappointed. I used to be so happy!
Then what?
As someone who has uprooted her life and started fresh—new country, new jobs, new friends, new homes—I was hoping for a bit less change. Now, I had to start the arduous process of sending out hundreds of CVs again and rebuilding my confidence after it had taken a battering.
I was getting disheartened and losing the carefully rebuilt confidence the longer my search went on. I’d been job hunting for about 6 months—would no one have me? Did my 10 years in the game mean nothing?
Then, the perfect opportunity came looking for me instead. Literally. A lovely recruiter saw my CV on a job board and got in touch ‘just in case’ I was looking. He loved my CV and said my experience was perfect for the role he was recruiting for. He was going to put me forward for a role based 30 minutes from my house, bang in the centre of town, and not 2 god-forsaken hours away in a soulless business park. Hybrid work. Nice people, no office politics/corporate bullshit. Thank god. Or rather, thank you, Will.
But why am I telling you all of this?
Well, because I don’t want you to end up as low as I was because of your job. I felt stuck, desperate to leave but not seeing any suitable jobs on the market (that weren’t in London—why does LinkedIn think London is the only place on Earth?).
When I joined the company, it was great and felt like a forward-thinking place to work. I was fully remote (thank goodness, their nearest office was 2 hours away), the work was interesting, and I could focus specifically on copywriting and editing, which my previous role didn’t allow me to do. But something had shifted, and I wasn’t alone in thinking that. The company wasn’t acting in a way that matched its ‘values’—it was nothing more than window dressing for potential customers.
The folks making the decisions from their ivory towers had no idea what it was like to work under their rules, and frankly, I don’t think they were interested in finding out. We had round after round of ‘anonymous surveys’ to give feedback on what was working and what was not, presumably to make some changes. Instead, it was more of a ‘thanks for sharing! Now moving on’ vibe whenever the bigwigs went through their ever-dwindling eNPS (employee happiness) scores on calls. No actions, no promises, nothing.
Some people have a high tolerance for unhappy working conditions. That’s okay. I do not, and that’s okay too. Life is far too short to spend 40 hours a week stressed out or sad, and the hours around that worrying about the 40-hour week you’re about to work again. It’s madness.
If your job is making you miserable, no matter what it is, you don’t have to just put up with it. Speak up, make what changes you can, and if that still doesn’t work—pack your shit up and leave. Remember that it takes time to rebuild your confidence, start applying for jobs, interview, and ultimately find the right place for you.
What’s next?
I love my new job so much. I’m excited about my craft again. I’m reading books to sharpen up some skills or learn more about current trends. Some days, I’m even excited to get back in the next morning and pick up a cool project I’m working on.
The office is gorgeous, with loads of natural light, and the commute doesn’t a) cost me a fortune or b) cost me 4 hours a day. I’m appreciated and have a boss whose values align with mine and leads with empathy (and excellent music taste). I feel like I can breathe.
And now that my mental health is back in check, I’ve even been able to take better care of my physical well-being. Better meals. Healthier food. More movement. Less alcohol. The same amount of pizza, though.
Have you ever left a job because it was bringing you down? How do you know when it’s time to leave? How do you build the confidence to move on? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
L O V E this ♥️