Oh my days. Were we friends with the same Brenda*? Because I, too, have been hit with this exact same life experience. Almost down to the letter - quite literally the only difference is the specifics - but every single red flag is staring at me right now like a deer in headlights.
I, too, shook off my Brenda*, and I have never been more grateful.
Brilliant piece, and probably one of the lesser spoken about things in terms of friendships, so super important! ♥️
Maybe they have a consortium of Brendas? We'll need to do some investigating. Glad you shook her off - our entire friend group felt warmer and kinder after she made her exit! <3
My mind just goes knee-jerk 100mph with various leads going in different directions.
The most curious is after the title I know have an urge for a cup of tea.
I have had many ups and downs, not too many falling outs, mostly just a drifting apart. I did have someone once tell me that I had to chose between being friends with him and another pal - wrong person to say that to. But after ten years of coolness we are back of close terms - I just carried on til he got over it.
I am glad for you catharcism. I am saddened that it makes you less trusting - understandable but sad.
I am fairly open and what you see is what you get (sorry in case you were assuming there were hidden depths).
I have to confess to being emotionally scarred by some English people and I often think they "pretend" to be nice/friendly/polite but they don't mean it - being "polite" which is another word for being shallow/duplicitous.
Never okay for someone to give you an ultimatum like that! But glad the friendship was salvageable 🎉
The older I get the more at peace I become with that natural drifting apart - I think some relationships have seasons. That said, ditching Brenda was a very conscious effort 😝
Interestingly it was salvaged as time when on and I thing he matured his life outlook. Althoung we still both believe in absolute rights and wrongs - I had moved on to a place when I realised that it is not easy or straightforward to apply that in a very messy and difficult world and a bit of compassion is needed.
It just took a few years and a bit of reality to get him to catch up with me.
Always enjoy reading.
I do wonder if your very personal post is your Maltese side winning over the English - although you did apologise at the beginning like an English person.
Oh my days. Were we friends with the same Brenda*? Because I, too, have been hit with this exact same life experience. Almost down to the letter - quite literally the only difference is the specifics - but every single red flag is staring at me right now like a deer in headlights.
I, too, shook off my Brenda*, and I have never been more grateful.
Brilliant piece, and probably one of the lesser spoken about things in terms of friendships, so super important! ♥️
Maybe they have a consortium of Brendas? We'll need to do some investigating. Glad you shook her off - our entire friend group felt warmer and kinder after she made her exit! <3
My mind just goes knee-jerk 100mph with various leads going in different directions.
The most curious is after the title I know have an urge for a cup of tea.
I have had many ups and downs, not too many falling outs, mostly just a drifting apart. I did have someone once tell me that I had to chose between being friends with him and another pal - wrong person to say that to. But after ten years of coolness we are back of close terms - I just carried on til he got over it.
I am glad for you catharcism. I am saddened that it makes you less trusting - understandable but sad.
I am fairly open and what you see is what you get (sorry in case you were assuming there were hidden depths).
I have to confess to being emotionally scarred by some English people and I often think they "pretend" to be nice/friendly/polite but they don't mean it - being "polite" which is another word for being shallow/duplicitous.
Very insightful post.
Never okay for someone to give you an ultimatum like that! But glad the friendship was salvageable 🎉
The older I get the more at peace I become with that natural drifting apart - I think some relationships have seasons. That said, ditching Brenda was a very conscious effort 😝
Thanks as always for reading!
Although taking a nuanced view of things, I usually find myself caught alone in the no-mans-land of every major moral argument.
Interestingly it was salvaged as time when on and I thing he matured his life outlook. Althoung we still both believe in absolute rights and wrongs - I had moved on to a place when I realised that it is not easy or straightforward to apply that in a very messy and difficult world and a bit of compassion is needed.
It just took a few years and a bit of reality to get him to catch up with me.
Always enjoy reading.
I do wonder if your very personal post is your Maltese side winning over the English - although you did apologise at the beginning like an English person.